


Accepting Oneself

by mirroralchemist



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Adult Content, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lemon, NSFW, Oneshot, POV First Person, not safe for work, spoilers for ep.40
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirroralchemist/pseuds/mirroralchemist
Summary: A late night talk after sharing a special moment with her boyfriend makes Candy comes to some realizations of her own.





	Accepting Oneself

**Author's Note:**

> It's been too long since I posted and I apologize. This isn't fresh new, as it was originally on my writing tumblr @mirroralchemist but I cleaned it up a bit to hopefully flow a bit better. The first half is essentially me testing out my skills of writing adult scenes and this is my first one ever for fanfic. I rarely write scenes like that outright so in advance apologies if it's awkward.
> 
> Also if people get a little confused from my last MCL fic; Candy=Ami=Mir, Mir is just her nickname but due to the intimacy between Ami and Nathaniel I opted not to use it this time.
> 
> Contains spoilers for ep.40 of MCL:HSL

 

I close my eyes as I let out a small breath.

In and out.

Despite how calm my breathing was, my heart was the opposite. I had figured it would be a matter of time, we even talked about this moment. I knew once I realized this relationship was for real, I wanted this to happen with him and only him. It fully sunk in at this moment was needed to break that final wall I built up around my emotions. The wall that kept me from never showing how much moving from city to city had affected me.

After all, if I keep people at arms' length then when it was time to say goodbye it wouldn't be so hard.

“Are you absolutely sure?” I hear him ask me.

The question brought me back to the moment at hand. The knot in my stomach becoming more pronounced as he asks me again if this is what I really wanted. I took his hand and moved it to my hip where my scar was. I was never good with words, especially expressing want. I hoped that letting his hand linger on the roughened skin would be consent enough. He knew how much this meant to me to let someone touch this flawed part of my body so intimately.

Then I nodded.

It started slow, delicate. The nerves in me concentrating and spreading all at once. My chest heaved at the unfamiliar presence inside me. I felt his hand interlace with mines. Without hesitation I returned the favor. As nice as it was that he was considerate of this being unfamiliar territory for us, I quickly wanted more.

I _needed_ more.

I wanted to be selfish for once.

I wanted to completely drown in his presence.

“M-more.” I managed to groan.

I heard the muffled laugh coming from him before indulging in my request. I could feel my face heating up at the situation before me. It was overloading all of my senses. It was almost too much to bear. But I was a strong girl and could withstand it. Especially something that felt so pleasant. I responded back to his actions in turn, seeing as I shouldn’t be the only one to enjoy this moment we shared. The feelings rose higher and even higher still. I opened my mouth to try and speak but my voice wouldn’t work. All I could do was let out a breath.

Then I felt it.

An overwhelming peak filled my entire senses. Immediately my body fell limp as I let the feeling passed. I barely registered the hand stroking my cheek before a pair of lips touched mines.

“I love you.” I heard him say.

I only nodded in reply before the urge to sleep became too great. Before I let it overtake me, I felt my body being pressed close.

* * *

I woke up to the dead silence of the night. I looked around to realize I was still in Nathaniel’s room, of his apartment.

In his bed.

The moments before hand replaying in my brain. I could feel myself blush at the event all over again.

It really happened.

I gave a quick glance around the room, realizing that I was the only one awake. As quietly as I could I shifted myself so that I was looking up at the ceiling. My body was sore, pleasantly sore. I had never considered that this would happen to me ever.

A long cry from the person who everyone avoided.

Thinking about it now made me feel uneasy. Was it really okay for me to experience this? Soon I’ll have to act on my decision for my future and now being able to have all this happen to me. I turned my head to stare at Nathaniel’s sleeping face. My hand ghost over the side of his face.

He had been nothing but good to me through everything.

I didn’t want to hurt him in any way.

“Ami?”

I jumped at hearing him call my name. His hand grasped my hip, slowly sliding up to just the side of my chest. I stayed silent as he was waking up.

“Hey. It’s still fairly late.”

“I know...something is on your mind.” he simply said.

I really shouldn’t be surprised that he knew something was going on with me. I was obvious in my expressions. As much as I hated that part of me.

“Don’t worry about it, it isn’t important.”

Nathaniel, fully awake now, lifted himself to stare at me fully. He didn’t believe my answer. I already knew that. But he stayed silent, just waiting for me to speak my mind.

“I’m just wondering if this is alright?” I finally said, “For a long time, I’ve had people show me, tell me, that these feelings are unacceptable because of who I am. I was known as that blue haired freak who assaulted someone because they couldn't take a little 'hazing'. As much bullshit that was. They assumed that I was getting close to someone and figured I wasn't allowed to."

Realization dawned on his face. 

"Is that why you were like that when we confronted Charlotte?"

My silence gave him all the confirmation he needed. 

”I always wanted to tell you that." I admitted, "Just, when people learn about that I'm suddenly not accepted anymore. I know despite all of that I won't regret this moment with you. But will you regret this moment with me now?"

For a long while, there was nothing being said. I feared I had killed this special moment with my insecurities. An abrupt pull brought me face first into his chest. Blush crept up on my cheeks at the contact our bodies made. You'd think that this would be nothing, considered just a while ago we had sex.

"Ami, you of all people, deserves to be accepted."

The words were so simple, but Nathaniel spoke it with such conviction. It was different from when Mom, Dad, or Aunt Rieka had said those very same words to me. This was someone who had seen my highs and lows. He had broken down those walls I had built around myself towards others.

He wasn’t telling me this to feel better about myself.

He honestly believed in those words.

I think I could believe in those words as well.

“Thank you. Really, you don't know how much those words mean to me. So, can I be selfish one more time and ask for a favor?"

“Anything.”

I looked at him fully in the eyes. I wanted him to see how much this request meant to me. My hand traced the outline of his body. I couldn’t chicken out now, knowing now how we both felt about our relationship.

“No matter what happens next, I'm grateful that you are the one that I'm so open to."

“Ami?” he asked.

“I just needed to say that." I spoke as my voice falters a little "Things could change and I needed to say that.”

Slowly he nodded. I smiled softly before cuddling closer to him. I knew things were changing and soon. But tonight I knew I was accepted.

That was enough for me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my prompt challenge I'm slowly doing on Tumblr and the word was "Acceptance". It's kinda open-ended for "reasons" 
> 
> But anyway, thanks for reading and leave a kudos/comment if you feel so inclined to. I appreciate anything.


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